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Female Compassion PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Monday, 10 May 2010 10:30

(The depth and breadth of it is truly amazing!)


A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No', so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said 'No', so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been fucked?'

The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No'.

She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'

 

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?



 
Golf PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Monday, 03 May 2010 00:00

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request.

She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales also. "What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied." I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."



 
The Importance of Walking PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Tuesday, 27 April 2010 11:11
  • Walking can add minutes to your life.
  • This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
  • My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  • I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
  • I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
  • Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
  • Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
  • I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
  • I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
  • The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'
  • If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  • I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
  • We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

  • Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.
  • You could run this over to your friends, but just e-mail it to them!


 
Computer Crash PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Monday, 19 April 2010 00:00

I can't respond  to any emails today…
Something crashed on my  computer and the mouse is missing.

Just another one of those random things my father in law sends me. Enjoy.



 
Battle Map Tolens PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Friday, 16 April 2010 00:00

I've discovered a new (to me) tool that lets you easily create tokens for use in RPG's. This wonderful utility will run on any OS that can handle Java5(1.5) and is quick & easy to learn & use. The tool I'm going on about is called TokenTool and can be found at the RPTools website.



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Differences PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Monday, 12 April 2010 00:00

Another one of those sporadic things that I get in my email with absolutely no reference from where it came other than my father in law. Sometimes, I want to get him a lumber yard... But I appreciate the humor in these, so I share them.



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Change Hosts values with BaSH PDF Print E-mail
Written by Coffeelove   
Friday, 09 April 2010 21:00

I was having issues with MapTool for about a week until I figured out that it was a badly setup /etc/hosts file that was screwing me over. So I wrote up this script to (semi)automatically change the IP value listed there to match the one given by /sbin/ifconfig .



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